Jan 27, 2006

sometimes life’s a fucker.

it’s been over a month since my last post. this submission was intended to be a flimsy new year’s resolution spot. how i’ll write more in the new year. how i’ll be more diligent and with my updates for my dear readers- never mind that no one knows this space exists but me. priorities change.

here i sit by the bed of my ailing wife. we have been here, in seattle, for two weeks yesterday. she’s not doing well, and we don’t know when we will be going home. i’ve had other things to worry about- least of which is this blog. she is my everything and indulgences like these seem petty.

yesterday, as it has for two weeks now, this space seemed so trivial. self indulging. forced. maybe it is, but today i have a need to resurrect it. that’s what i waited for i guess a need, not a want.

my wife and i published our own blog over six months ago before we made our move from our home in colorado to our new home in alaska. it was a way of documenting our trip. like most blogs it was a light hearted document of our lives. we only shared the good times, and we provided our friends and family with our interpretation of life in alaska.

the past two weeks however, the ‘other’ blog has morphed into something more. it has become a legitimate form of communication- the only way of reaching the masses with updates on her progress and treatment. with exception of the occasional friend coming to seattle to lend much welcomed support, we are alone in this city. all we know of it are the four walls of this increasingly less sterile hospital room. our blog has served as our consistent voice, and our audience has kept it valid.

so why am i here now- back at this place that is so detached from the reality of now? because i need to be. i have a need to speak about my loves, what moves me. i have a need to articulate aspects of my photography. share my views on design, architecture, books- things that excite me. simply- i need an outlet.

i’ve journaled for as long as i can remember, but not once did i pin my pages to a board for all to read. it’s still a site that knows no audience, however, if i can eventually elevate it to a form of communication i will be pleased. for now, it’s a place for me to release. share. evolve.

when i get home i'll start new. shoot more. love more. immerse myself more. start new with this blog, all old posts be damned.

*delete old posts*

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